I know. We are all inundated with the idea of being politically correct! We'd rather stick our finger down the proverbial throat then be told one more time that it's not 'politically correct'. As my disclaimer... I share your disdain for always feeling like I need to watch what I say. That is, until it comes to my boys. See, something happens when your a mom. Something akin to animal instinct, that tells all that is within us to protect our cubs. You can find amazing stories of mothers across all times, and all demographics, that have beaten all odds when it comes to the protection of their children. Yes, there are even stories of women, like myself, who by nature are fed up with 'political correctness', who actually embrace the idea.
If it's protecting to her baby.
So, here's the deal, and I say this with as much love as I can muster: Telling my child that they were "given up" for adoption tells them:
* You were given up on
* You weren't worth keeping
* You were too hard, therefore needing to be given up
You get where I am going with this??? It's not about giving up on. The idea of 'giving up' reflects so poorly on birth mothers. Women with whom I highly respect, and by all means, are not giver-uppers.
So, if you are new to the adoption realm, know someone who has adopted, has been adopted, or are considering adoption please remember: Women do not give their babies up, women who choose adoption are making an adoption plan. These women are being pro-active in making a decision that will forever alter their lives, and the lives of their children. Their selfless plan says:
* YOU are not a mistake
* YOU have a place where you belong, and I know just where that is
* YOU are worth all there is to make a plan for
* YOU are a gift worthy of purpose and of planning for
Thank you, Birth Mothers everywhere, who have made the selfless choice to make a pro-active adoption plan for your children. Without your selfless love, forethought, and planning, I would not be a mother.
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3 comments:
So...Bob and I were JUST talking about this specific thing on Monday in the car. For those new to adoption it can be a difficult change - just because it's been said that way for so long. But I totally get it.
Yes, it totally has! And honestly, it's just a case of people using that language because we've always said it like that. Not that they want to communicate a negative message. And knowing how to communicate something more clearly, helps in the education of adoption. It has been viewed in such a shameful light for far too long. And changing the language will help validate adoption as the positive thing it is: building families, and raising emotionally healthy children.
I totally agree with you on this one Chrissy-dear! Even changing the wording to something as simple as "to place for adoption" sounds/feels so much better than using the words "give up" - we're not supposed to say that about anything - especially children! Mothers who choose adoptive plans for their children should be appreciated for the brave women they are - and thanked for gifting the world with their children who will be lovingly raised to positively impact society...
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